Blog

new blog

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 10:48:00 -0400

I am currently testing a new blog site. My decision has not yet been made on whether or not I will stay here or move my blog. However, for the time being, my most recent posts are at the new blog for testing. You can find me here,

http://themeds.tumblr.com/

paranormal activity.

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 11:00:00 -0400

My sister and I are going to a Ben Fold's concert later this month. *does a little dance* He will be playing with the Ohio Orchestra, and I can't explain how happy that makes me. I am sure it will be incredibly fun, as most of his concerts are. Once I figure out how to post music on this blog, I will post a few songs that I have been listening to to help get me in the mood (not that it takes much to get me excited).

Monica and I saw Paranormal Activity this week, and I have to admit that I think it may have been the scariest movie I have ever seen. If not the scarest, then it was at least in my top five. . Obviously fear is different for everyone, but for me personally this movie touched a deeper level of fear. It didn't rely on jump out scares (although there were a few moments), gore or torture scenes. Instead, it touched upon that type of fear that you feel when you are home alone in a dark room and you think you hear something scratching on your window. Even if you haven't expereienced that type of fear since you were a child, I am sure everyone has felt it at least once in their lives. It is the type of fear that kind of leaves you vulnerable for a moment, reminding you that you are human and frail, and normal revolves around things that can't easily be explained. A few funny examples of these moments for me was when I was sitting in bed reading at night and my cat Paisley started hissing at something in the closet. What the heck was she hissing at??? And, just recently I was in bed reading again, and two of my cats stuck their heads under the bed and then jumped back in fear and ran from the room. What the heck was under my bed??? Anyway, the movie slowly built the tension, and part of what made it work was the fact that it seemed real. It was definitely slow in some parts, but still very enjoyable.

My little sister is home for the weekend, so that means seafood, video games, movies, and long talks till we can barely stay awake. I am pretty excited. It will be a good weekend.

pushed to my limits

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 12:23:00 -0400

My tolerence level is currently set at 0. Some people have overwhelemed me this week to the point that I simply have no energy for anyone. I hate to feel that way, but sometimes I just get pushed to far. Thankfully the weekend is approaching, and I have no plans except to hang out with my friends on Monday to watch an asian horror movie.

I am finally working on a personal drawing, meaning that I am drawing something other than my homework for my mentor. I am just doing an illustration of some of my chapters that I am working on because I figured it would be good practice. I am doing an illustration for my prologue, and it is of a girl in her dark bedroom in front of her window. I am trying to practice coloring, and since it is in a dark room I am using lots of blues and grays for the skin tone. It has been challenging because the girl will either look like she is in the dark, or will look like a zombie princess. Zombie princess would be a fun story to write, but is definitely not my story. The good thing is that the face doesn't look as flat as most of my work does. Now if only I could draw a better background.

My friend just informed me that we have three things we need to plan this month; a ghost hunting trip, a trip to Old Man's Cave (gorgeous during the fall) and a trip to Sasquatch Triangle. hahahaha! My tolerance level may be at 0 but my geek-o-meter just flew off the charts.

typical update

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 17:13:00 -0400

I haven't uploaded anything in my sketchbook or deviantart, not for lack of drawing, but because the stuff I am working on with my mentor is so basic it isn't even worth posting. I am almost to the perspective lesson, so I may start uploading some of the exercises then. I haven't done any personal art, and I need to. I need to do a few christmas presents and need to continue to flesh out my characters.

Talking about my characters, I am still writing, and it has become very enjoyable for me. I am finally getting to the point where my characters are being shown on a more personal level, or at least they will be soon. The prologue was mainly action oriented and chapter 1 was almost total dialog between two secondary characters. I am finally at the point where my two main characters will be together and the center of attention, and it has been fun developing their relationship.

There is one clear thing that worries me. I have no end in sight, and I am not really sure that I have a good middle. What I do have is the main conflicts and twists of the story, but I have no idea how they will be resolved. I am not sure if that will really be a problem, or if the ending will just naturally come as I progress the story. Regardless, it has me a little concerned at the moment.

I also have no idea what catagory or genre my story would fit into. It will definitely have some fantasy and horror elements, but this isn't the dragon and knights type of fantasy or your typical slasher horror. Maybe I am not sure about it simply because these elements of the story have not really been developed yet.

The one thing that has been made clear for me is the fact that I need to read, read and read some more. I have already been writing in my blog for about 4 years now, and I started a blog just for the purpose of learning to write better. It has definitely helped, but now I think reading is going to be one of the major factors that will help me improve my skills. Too bad I am currently obsessed with a video game. I am playing Oblivion and can't put the darn thing away.

music

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:05:00 -0400

Busy times!

I have spent most of my afternoon downloading music since there seems to be some great music playing on the radio lately; Matisyahu, Muse, Bat for Lashes, Julian Plentie etc. And, for those that have never heard of Matisyahu, his music almost always puts a smile on my face. He is an orthodox Jew that sings reggae. I am not sure it gets cooler than that. And, for those of you that like Akira Yamoka, I was wasting time searching for music, and found KAVver on Akira's page. KAVver has songs featured on a cd called Liminality - The Silent Hill Inspired Album: Revision, and I guess it is his interpretations of Akira's style. He is offering free downloads of these songs (and it seems of almost all his music) at Last FM, so if you are looking for new music and like the electronic, ambient and alternative styles, then check out his page. If you scroll down the page, you should see the free downloads that he offers. Here's the link, http://www.last.fm/music/KAVver.

My grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer about a month ago, and she had her surgery to remove the lump this week. Thankfully, it went well, and she may not even need chemotherapy. Breast cancer really seems to run in my family, my aunt, my grandma, my great grandmas and great aunts, so the doctors finally decided to do a blood test to see if my grandma carried that mutant breast cancer gene. For a while there I kind of thought we would all need masectomies (sp?) and would need boob jobs. We would be the family with perkiest breasts around. Thankfully, she does not carry the gene, so there will be no boob jobs anytime soon for any of us. It is kind of surreal to see my grandma sick. She is in her 70s, but acts and looks more like a lady in her 60s. She has taken care of her health, and it shows. She's always been so strong, that I really can't imagine her ever dying. Obviously, unless I die first, Jesus returns or the world ends, I will see the day when my grandparents die, but for now she just seems immortal, and that is a thought that will get me in trouble if I don't deal with it now.

still writing

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 13:33:00 -0400

I am so far behind in my blog posts. I have been keeping a mental list of things i want to write about, but just haven't got a chance to yet. I guess it is good that there is a list rather than nothing.

I am still writing my story, and I am actually making some decent progress. One thing I think I am going to do is create a soundtrack for each of my main characters so that I can listen to their music when I am getting ready to write from their point of view, and hopefully it will help me get in their state of mind. It may sound kind of weird, but i always hear music that I associate with a certain character, so I think it will help my writing process. My friend also told me today that she liked my writing voice, and that gave me a boost of confidence. I have to admit that I am having a lot of fun with this entire process.

lists

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 08:57:00 -0400

So much to write, so little time. I am putting together a list of recommendations that I will hopefully be able to post later today. :) But unforunately, i am too busy at work right now, so it will have to wait. I think it will be long and will include pictures and videos. :) :)

evolved

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 12:13:00 -0400

Someone left this comment referring to an article about a young 12 year old child bride in an Arab country that died during child brith. It was a tragic article, but this comment really got on my nerves. "End Religion and evolve as a species." Um what??? Apparently he doesn't know the same unevolved non-religious people that I know. I grow weary of this attitude. The last time I checked Stupidity was an equal opportunist, and does not discriminate based on race, color, national origin, age, marital status and yes, even religious or non-religious views. We are all capable of making bad decisions for our lives, and yes, there are many religious groups/people whose ideas are dangerous. But, to assume that all religious people are unevolved is just as dangerous. Haven't we been through this before, or did he miss his history lessons on the Holocaust?

goldies

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 20:12:00 -0400

I haven't written in my blog since the 14th. I am a lazy butt. And, I am not going to write a whole lot right now, but for good reasons. I am actually writing on my story! It feels good. Today I told my friend Monica that I am trying to adopt the attitude that ideas are kind of pointless if I don't do anything with them. So, in other words, I need to get off my butt and write. And, I have. Of course there is still so much planning to do for my story and characters that this is really only the beginning stages, but I might as well write the scenes that are already playing in my head. If nothing else, it will help me to develop the characters and learn what will or won't work.

Is it completely dorky of me to name my goldfish after characters from books I love? I have a feeling that my geek-o-meter just skyrocked off the charts, but sometimes I just can't help myself. I am a geek, so either love me for it or move along. Anyway, I bought two new goldies to add to my tank of 3 baby goldies. None of been named yet. So, I will name them right now. The two baby gold goldies will be Ned the 2nd and Caitlyn the 2nd, and they are named after the characters in A Song of Ice and FIre. My baby black moor is beluga seran the 8th. My larger black moor will be named Richard Parker after the tiger in Life of Pi, and finally my red cap goldie will be named Lucy and I don't know why.

mentor

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 14:06:00 -0400

I feel like I have so much to write about, which is a good feeling. And, I am sure that what I want to write about is more interesting than what I am actually going to write in this post, but I guess that just means that I have more interesting things for my brain to plow through when the time comes. For now, I want to mention that I am currently working with a mentor from conceptart.org, and I am thrilled to have lessons. Of course, I am already bored with the first lesson, but I have learned something new, and I feel a whole new level of confidence. It is amazing how empowering knowledge (and the application of knowledge) can be. So, as long as this guy sticks with his online class and as long as I actually do the work, I think this will give me a little more of a foundation to build upon.

I also want to warn you now, but this will be the only warning, there may be some nudity in my sketchbook, and if you slip away from my sketchbook to view other pages on conceptart.org, you are more than likey going to see nakedness. So, just be aware that boobs and butts may show up from time to time in my sketchbook thread. It is nothing gross, of course. I am just trying to learn how to draw the body. Heck, I haven't even shaded my drawings yet, so it is just linework and not detailed. But still, I want to put that warning out there.

I would be lying if I said I was perfectly comfortable drawing a nude body. Actually, I have no problems drawing the body, but I feel kind of shy about posting the drawing for others to see. I even made sure to cover a few up with bikinis. lol Nudity is one of those really gray areas for me. I am not offended by it, but I also know how easy it is for people to exploit it. And even though I am not offended by viewing a photo of a nude model for the sake of learning to draw anatomy, when I suddenly try to imagine myself as a nude model, or my sisters or my daughter (if I had one), then the feeling is very different. Nudity is not wrong, it is how we were created, but I also think it is something special; something that makes us vulnerable, which makes it special when we actually share it with someone, in real life or in a drawing. It is so important to respect the beauty of it, which is why I think I sometimes feel uncomfortable including it in my art. I have to ask if I am actually being respectful, and will others be respectful of what I create. Obviously I can't always control how others will perceive what I draw, but I can at least attempt to draw in a way that is not soley for the sake of exploiting, but to give it meaning and to show the beauty of the moment. I could probably go on and on, but some guy is here trying to fix our water pressure tank (we have not had water for 2 days now), so my attention is needed elsewhere. I will finish this later.

stupid assumptions

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 14:28:00 -0400

I am an introverted person, so I normally keep to myself. To most people I probably seem like a quiet person, and generally I am. However, if I am with the right person, I can talk and talk and talk. I enjoy discussions and debates. A lot of people don't know that or see that in me, and I think that it sometimes makes the more agressive person think they can verbally attack me, or at least make them think they can easily get away with saying something to me that they may not say to someone else. What they probably don't realize is that I will defend myself and that I am quick when it comes to arguing.

Someone said something to me today, and I have a feeling she didn't realize I would respond the way I did. What was said was based on faulty assumptions of me, and it ticked me off . . . really ticked me off. The converstation so far was done by email, but I was very quick with my response, and I am not going to let someone bully me and boss me around when they have no clear understanding of my intentions or my hard work. I will stand my ground.

I am trying not to take it too personally, which is probably what I am doing, but that is easier said than done.

Anyway, I plan to go home, eat, draw and update my sketchbook, upload my cat photos and go to bed. It has been a long day and I am in a sour mood.

sketchbook

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 20:26:00 -0400

I started my sketchbook thread on conceptart.org again, and you can find the link on my sidebar. Take a look if you are interested. Sketches and drawings that are not on this site or on deviantart will be in my sketchbook thread. The sketchbook will contain sketches (obviously), character concepts, studies and some sketches for pictures I hope to finish. Finished pictures or sketches I really like will be added to this site and to deviantart, that way my deviantart gallery won't be more polished looking and won't have sketches galore, but I can still show my sketches on my sketch book thread so that I can get feedback and critiques.

I can't express enough how valuable conceptart.org is for an artist, especially an artist that is interested in concept art, working with video games, interested in doing any type of graphic novels, or just some beginner like me that doesn't know crap about art but wants to learn more. I will talk about the site more later, but I am too tired right now. I will say that I have only had my thread going for a day and I already have a few comments with decent feedback.

It is late at night, and I am at work training. I am so tired. I need to go home, take some pictures of my cats for reference, which over the last few days they have seemed to refuse to allow me to take any decent picture of them, and then I am going to bed.

flea market

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 18:27:00 -0400

The flea market was a success, but also a little bit of a disappointment. We made profit, which for me means we were successful. Many people also took our business cards, and we received great feedback. It was a disappointment because we thought we would sell more than we did. There were 800 vendors, and with such a large event, we naturally thought we would sell more items. However, we failed to realize that when there are so many vendors, consumers have a more difficult time committing to one single vendor before they have a chance to view other booths. I can't even tell you how many people browsed through our stuff and were one step away from handing us cash, but then changed their minds at the last minute because they wanted to look around a little more before buying. The demographic was also part of the downside. This is going to sound a little mean, but we assumed we would see a lot of rednecks. That is just expected for this event because it is out in the country. What we didn't know was that we were actually walking into redneckville and that our merchandise would be a minority. Can you guess what was a top seller? Guns. Yep, that is right. People all over the place were selling guns, bows, knives and swords. I knew there would be some, but I was shocked by how many guys I saw walking around with their guns over their shoulders. It was surreal, and of course scary. I didn't even know it was so easy to sell guns. And, to top it all off, our location at the event was pretty bad. Instead of placing us near vendors that sold similar items, the majority of our row were gun vendors. It was guns, guns, guns, guns, gracefully inspired, guns, guns. We started to make jokes that we should have made trigger charms, bullet earrings and jewelry that can be used as fishing lures. Again, it was surreal. And, just in case you don't believe me, I got lots of pictures of men walking around with their guns. I will upload them soon. Finally, on Monday it rained, and it rained a lot. So, we probably would have made more sales if the weather was better. Was it a learning experience? Yes. Did we make money? Yes. Will we do it next year? Possibly. Was it crazy. Absolutely.

can finally breathe

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 23:17:00 -0400

Now that the flea martket is finally done, I feel like I can slow down a bit and relax. I will write about the experience tomorrow. Right now I am just in bed drawing, and it feels so good unwind.

Last night I introduced my friend Annie to the beautiful movie, A Tale of Two Sisters. She was vonfused for the majority of the, but I think she liked it by the end, and she took it home with her to watch it again. After watching the movie again I realized that it will be a perfect source to use for some watercolor practice. There are so many scenes that are so artistic and pretty that I don't know how one can't help but want to draw them. And talking about painting, I think I am going to go up and paint a little before bed. I always hesitate to paint, and that is because I really don't know what I am doing. But, I need to not be so afraid of experiementing. It is just a sketch book. It is meant for experimentation.

finally some art time

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 11:51:00 -0400

If you are one that enjoys soundtracks and is longing for a new one, I recommend the soundtracks to 28 days later and 28 weeks later. If the music doesn't set your heart in a steady race, I don't know what will. The songs I enjoy from the soundtrack are quickly becoming ones I go to when I need to take my mind and mood to a certain place (briefly explained below). I especially like The Kiss of Death. The climb in the beginning of the song just keeps going and going getting louder as it goes. And, as more and more instruments join in, and I even think I hear voices although instruments can play that trick on me, It just gets more and more powerful. Then the release. At that point, I normally need to take a deep breath, and I can almost see the sadness dripping out of the speakers. I will talk more about this particular song and the scene it was played for at a later time. Anyway, check out the songs because you may enjoy them.

Now that I have a little bit of breathing time, I am going to do something that I haven't done in at least 2 weeks probably 3 or 4 (I can't even remember). I am going to pick up my pencil and draw. I shouldn't allow myself to go that long without some drawing. At this point, art is theraputic for me. And just like I can't imagine going without music for a long period of time because it feels like it is part of me, art is becoming the same way. I don't think it really started out that way. At first I just enjoyed showing off my pictures, sharing ideas with people and getting into discussions etc. And of course that is still a big part of art for me, as it is for most people. But now I also have those feelings that I need to draw to sort through my own emotions and to help clear and focus my mind. After this last little time of going without drawing, I know now that I cannot limit my art time. Just like I rarely go days wihtout music, I need to see art as a part of my day. It can't be a choice anymore, but a given. I can't view it just as needing to draw to get better, but actually needing to draw because it will benefit me and give me a different outlook for my day.

I hit that point with music a while ago. I can manage my emotions and moods fairly well now, and if I want to be in a certain mood, I listen to a certain song or style. If I want to be in a bad or sad mood so that my I can deal with my emotions appropriately, I find sad or angry songs. If I need to be calm, I find music. I can go on and on. Of course this all seems obvious, but I think the difference for me now compared to a few years ago is that I actually apply my knowledge of music and how it can affect moods. Of course this means that I have to be open to take my mind and emotions to places that I may not always want to go, but I find that it helps sort through my thoughts and strengthens my imagination. It is only a matter of time before Art does the same thing for me. And I am going to realize that potential from now on.

I won't speak too much of the flea market event yet because it won't be over until tomorrow, and I would prefer to write the experience in one post. I will say that although it is successful, we aren't as successful as we were hoping to be, at least not yet. Tomorrow will be the busiest day, so I guess we will see what happens then.

applying

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 12:27:00 -0400

Knowledge is obviously good, but it is pretty useless unless you have the ability to apply the knowledge you know. It is as if knowledge was simply the key hole and and application is the key. You need them both to unlock the door to a more successful path. It seems that people fall short when it comes to applying the knowledge. Is it really that hard? I know what it takes to be healthier, to be a better artist, to write more often, to have a better relationship, to make my business succeed and yet I fail to apply myself often, which in turn makes myself just another plain jane.. It makes me very curious to look up the psychology of motivation and discipline. Actually, the more I dwell on this, the more I realize that I have more discipline than I give myself credit, and now that i know it is there, I am even more determined to push myself. I think I am just realizing that I can get pretty frustrated with those that lack these things. I guess that is a whole other blog topic.

Tomorrow is Swapper's day. Um . . . did I mention that this is kind of a redneck flea market? They are starting the show with a fox hunt. :( I hope they don't kill the fox. I am such a wimp. Anyway, I am so excited, and I think this event is bigger than we originally expected. We are so worried that we won't have enough stuff to sell. And I failed epically by not making more prints of this photograph:

Everyone I have talked to thinks this picture will be a good seller because of the demographic. I guess if it sells, I can always run and make more prints.

bad day

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 12:24:00 -0400

Agghhhh! The human resource director at my job just told me about 10 minutes ago that I have to train someone in less than an hour because she can no longer do it herself. It is the training that she normally does, so I barely have time to prepare. *shoves my lunch down my throat* I actually had a busy afternoon planned too. All of that will have to wait. I sure hope I can pull things together. Please brain cells, don't fail on me now.

I don't mind helping and I know things like this pop up from time to time, but geesh, today was not a good day for it. I am way too busy.

We set up for our flea martket event tomorrow . . . oh goodness. The president of my job just walked in with a guest while I am shoving my lunch down my throat. *dies of embarrassment* This is just not my day. Anyway, tomorrow we set up and then it starts on Saturday and will go through Monday. And, it will last 12 hours a day. That is a lot of work, and I surely hope we have enough stuff.

I better get back to work before the president walks in again and spies my chicken nuggets.

HBO series

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 08:28:00 -0400

I originally planned to write about the demise of survival horror video games, but i am too excited about something else at the moment, and nobody cares about my love for horror games anyway. So, that topic will have to wait for my next post. Right now my mind is too pre-occupied with excitement about A Song of Ice and Fire which will be coming to HBO. First, if you haven't read this series yet, why not? Start reading! You won't be disappointed unless you happen to hate developed characters, emotional reading and plot twists and backstabbing galore.

I have a few blogs that I read on a regular basis (I really need to read more), and one of the blogs I visit is George R. R. Martin's blog, the author of A Song of Ice and Fire. I mainly read his blog to see if he ever spills some details about the next book in the series, but lately he has shared information about the casting for the HBO pilot for the book A Game of Thrones (the first book in the series). So far I really like their choices for most of the characters. A lot of the guys are yummy, especially the guys playing Robb and Jaime. And today the blog hinted that the woman playing Cersi is the same actress that played the queen in the movie 300. That woman is gorgeous and will play the perfect Cersi, the queen everyone loves to hate, and oh how I really, really hate her. The girl they casted for Daenerys is pretty good too, which is the part that I thought would be the most difficult to cast.

Oh, and I almost forgot about Sean Bean. Sean Bean will be playing Eddard Stark, aka Ned, one of my favorite characters. Other major characters that have been cast are Arya, Jon Snow, Sansa, Tyrion, Ser Jorah and Theon (and i am sure others that I have forgotten). If you are interested in seeing these actors, check out Martin's blog, http://grrm.livejournal.com/ .

I can't wait to see who they get for the Hound because the Hound is quickly becoming one of my favorite characters. I don't think he would be in the pilot, but would definitely be in the first season.

I seriously need to start doing my fanart for this series. Oh, and did I mention that we don't even have HBO, but my mom is excited about the series and plans to get HBO just for that show. hahaha!

jewelry factory

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 19:20:00 -0400

I feel like a jewelry factory. All I have been doing in most of my spare time is making jewelry. At least I am getting better. As a matter of fact, I think some of my stuff looks pretty fabulous. We are just trying to bust out as much stuff as we possibly can before the weekend. And unfortunately, I haven't been able to draw at all, and I can feel the need. At least making jewelry still allows me to be creative.

Our display looks pretty good, and since most of the people at this event may simply have garage sale items, I think our display will look nice and will stand out. Most of our prints don't looks too bad now that we have some matted and in frames. This will be the first time we have really displayed our photography/artwork so we don't know what to expect, but I think some people may be interested

For the last few days when I needed a break I have been playing F.E.A.R 2, and although I don't mind it, I am not as thrilled with it as much as the first game. And, playing the game has made me start to think about the horror genre in general (for games), so I think that will be my next blog post. For now, I need to go scan in about 20 necklaces.

shabby prints

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 13:48:00 -0400

My husband and sister were home from work today, so they were going to get our photography and artwork made into prints for our craft/art show/flea market next weekend. We decided to try to save a little bit of money and went somewhere cheap, and unfortunately we got exactly what we paid for. However, one of the main problems is that my husband decided to go by himself to get the prints, so he didn't notice that the quality was shabby. If my sister would have been with him, she would have noticed and stopped the printing. The odd thing is that all of the artwork turned out fine, but only about half the photography. I assumed it would have been the other way around. So, I learned my lesson. when it comes to prints; you get what you pay for in most cases. And, next time I will be the one that goes. My husband tried, so I can't be mad at him, but we did lose about 15 bucks.

I guess we can always sell them for a lower price, although i guess some turned out so badly that my sister said she wouldn't even use them for free. But, my nice mom said that she may buy some of the bad qualitiy prints to put in her room if they don't sell. She will pay what it cost us to print them. I don't know if that means that my mom is just that nice, or if the artwork in her bedroom is just that bad. Either way, at least I know I have one fan.